ano nakikita Mo?, harana

On Monday the carrots mom packed me were soggy and grey where their shoes should’ve been. I threw them to seagulls and Ms. Villin kept me after class, telling me I was ungrateful. I looked for God in the classroom ceiling, but he didn’t show up.

On Tuesday I gave my fingers hats made from raspberries, but no one laughed at me the way they did at Talulah. The vending machine gave me free water when I gave it a kick and it was warm the way our sodas were in the summer when the fridge broke. 

Wednesday, our cat Toby died and my brother Ricky said it was my fault because I didn’t go to Sunday service last week. I thought maybe it was his fault since he smoked a lot with Toby in his room. Toby’s pale fur was yellowed when we buried him next to grandma in the cemetery, and the man walking the grounds said we were sick.

On Thursday Ms. Villin’s eye bloomed purple the way bruises pop up on peaches and our principal with the bowl cut asked her to leave our class. The substitute had eyes like a fox and she reminded me of the color green. Mint chocolate chip ice cream, duck heads, the dyed bagels they sell on St. Patrick’s Day.

Friday, Ricky drove me to the beach instead of school. The tar kissed at my heels, not letting me go. The salt in the air made my lips dry and when I swam with my jeans on I felt heavy. The waves rolled over looking like marbles, and I wondered if this was what Toby saw when he died. 

About the Author

Claire Tafoya · Chapman University

Claire Tafoya is a recent graduate from Chapman University with a BFA in creative writing. Her writing often contemplates faith and family. Besides writing, Claire can be found reading, listening to excessive amounts of Taylor Swift, and spending time with her loved ones. “Not for the Week” was previously published in Calliope.

About the Artist

harana · University of California

harana is a senior design major at UC Davis whose art is shaped by her identity as a Pilipinx-American immigrant. Ano Nakikita Mo appeared originally in the University of California -wide Matchbox Magazine. You can find more of her work as an artist on instagram @harana_, and her work as a designer at EmiliaTongson.com. This piece was first featured in plain china in 2019.